🔥  How to Be Happy! 10 Traits of Happy People, and WHY They Work! 🔥   Colleen Hammond

🔥 How to Be Happy! 10 Traits of Happy People, and WHY They Work! 🔥 Colleen Hammond

How happy are you? And if you are happy, why are you happy? And if you’re not happy why aren’t you happy? Today is Part Two of “Happiness”. I’ll detail ten more traits of happy people. [Opening animation] Good morning and welcome to Coffee with Colleen. Yesterday was Part One of “Happiness” and I explained ten different ideas of how to be more happy. And today is part two. We’re going to talk about 10 Traits
of happy people. Of how they do things differently and how they view things differently. So it’s kind of taking
a couple of points from yesterday and really digging a little bit
deeper into them and really understanding that happiness is a decision. You decide every day whether you’re going to smile or not. And always remember, I always tell you what to do with that pen. And I can’t find a pen off the top
of my head or on my desk which is shocking
there’s usually pens lying here but just to put a pen in
your mouth because just putting your face in the position of a smile presses on glands in your face which
release happy chemicals. So your decision to smile will actually help you be happier. But why? What is it about happy people? How do they think differently and what did they do.? Well first and foremost, they have a strong connection with their social fabric of people that they know. And studies are showing a little bit on-line is OK, but really it’s those face to face interactions with real live human beings that have a pulse. Not a BOT which is a whole sidebar. A lot of these porn websites and dating websites are actually BOTS — they’re artificial intelligence that know how to carry on conversations. So we’re talking about face to face interactions. And happy people stay connected with their families. I love the George Burns saying that
(oh where did it go. I wrote down): “Happiness is having a large, caring, close knit family that lives in another city.” So, having that connection to your neighbors, your place of
worship, your friendships… Are important to have real life, in person face to face friendships. They have been shown to act as a buffer to depression and creating those strong meaningful connections of
people that help you not be depressed. And the rates of depression and people who are depressed are
increasing at a rapid rate. Matter of fact the World Health
Organization says by 2020, depression will be the second
leading cause of death by suicide. So it’s shocking and a lot of it is because of us being here on social media, which is one level
of intimacy of being conducted on social media. And this type of live programming or recording or that type of thing because we do
interact and we do have that sense of
camaraderie and friendship and that knit, that fabric of like-minded people. But it’s also important to
have in-person relationships and people that you can just pick up
on phone and call or to go and sit down and have a cup of
coffee with. So Coffee with Colleen! So it’s the disconnection from family, the disconnection from community, the disconnection from
those in your place of worship. The disconnection actually leads to a higher incidence of depression. So number one is the
fact that people have in-person family, friends, a knit community that they can turn to. Number two. They engage in activities that fit their strengths, their values, and their lifestyles. So they’re out using their God given strengths. They’re out using their talents. They’re participating. So it’s kind of like when you have a goal for physical health and you want to get out and exercise. Happy people do the same thing with their emotional goals — of how they want to think and behave. It’s just a matter of engaging in activities that fit your strengths, your values. And doing those things. So having those emotional goals and working toward them. So that’s number two. Number three is gratitude. It should always be number one on the list, I think. Since we’re talking about emotional goals
I just I slipped it in his number three. Having a grateful heart and a grateful mindset. It’s one of those things that helps you cope with trauma. Helps you cope with stress. It’s good for your health. When you focus on at least one thing a day. Put in the comments one thing that
you’re grateful for right now and start it off! Start off being happy and grateful today. What one thing
are you grateful for right now? Because that gratitude dissolves negative emotions. A positive emotion and a negative emotion can’t exist at the same time. When you really feel and think about the things that
you’re grateful for it dissolves the negative emotions because they can’t be there. And that’s also a character strength
of gratitude. They have shown that those who practice gratitude or who are just grateful people in
general have a higher correlation to life satisfaction. I am really fascinated with concentration camps and World War II and a lot of the interviews that
were done with people. If you have ever read Corrie ten Boom or Anne Frank. Any of those people. They just had a positive attitude. The people who had a positive
attitude survived. That’s the reason we have these
interviews with these people because they
survived. I’ve talked about this movie before
It’s a German movie and I think you can still get it. It might be an Amazon Prime. It kind of comes and goes on Netflix or Amazon Prime. I believe it’s called “The Ninth
Day” (. And Maximilian Schell, I think I forget who’s in it. But anyway it’s in German with subtitles but it’s about this priest in a
concentration camp and he’s brought out. And he’s just living a miserable
life there, then he’s brought out. He’s given
nine days to make the decision to help
persuade the bishops to follow Hitler. And if not, his family is going to be killed, and he’ll be sent back to the
concentration camp. And it was Dachau or one of the worst places, right? So now I’ll ruin the whole story. It’s extremely moving but he ends up going back to the
concentration camp, he doesn’t do it, he helps his family escape first, and he goes back to the
concentration camp. But when he does, he’s now so full of love and peace and gratitude and joy that he starts ministering to everybody else there at the
concentration camp. So I think it’s a true story. Not sure. But you know what? So being grateful and having the habit also increases your self-esteem. When you’re grateful, your self-worth and your self-esteem
are also rising. So practice gratitude. Number four. They have the habit of thinking optimistically. Of always trying to look for the
best in any situation. So they get rid of pessimism — or rein in pessimism — because they focus their time and energy on things that they do
have control over. Because there’s things that you have absolutely no control over. So why get all wrapped up about them if you can control it? Do something about it. Focus on that. Change it into problem solving. We’ve talked about this before —
convert it into a problem solving exercise as opposed to complaining. Number two they know when to move
on. So they’re not worried about they’re like OK this
this too shall pass. So let’s just move on. Not even going to think about it. The road is bumpy at times. But the bumpiness ends eventually and we get on the smooth the road. So let’s just mentally move on from it because
this too shall pass. And number three they can
compartmentalize. Now, men are especially good at
compartmentalizing. Women need a little bit more
practice. But they’re not going to let one activity (have to reach around the microphone). They’re not going
to let this one activity or this one negativity over here overshadow the good things that are happening
over there. So compartmentalize the bad things that you can’t do
anything about. And just focusing on the things that you can do something good
about. You know it was like the day I got
served with the — I was talking about
getting served in pre-show about getting served by a scam artist — with this lawsuit, and that’s scary. You don’t get that paperwork and it’s like, “Oh my gosh!” Your blood pressure
goes up. OK. I can’t do anything about this
right now. I’m not going to think about it
I’m not going to worry about it until I called the attorney until I can hear back from the
attorney. And then I went out with my day. And it kept kind of creeping back up into my head. I’m like, “No! I’m not going to think about
that now.” I’m not going to let this paperwork, this lawsuit that doesn’t make any
sense. Well, it wasn’t a lawsuit! So I’m not going to let it impact me in any way. Number five habits of happy people. They know it’s good to do good. Random acts of kindness. Have you ever done that? What kind of random acts of kindness
have you done? Give me some suggestions. Down in the comments section because
I’m always looking for good ideas. You know buying of that dinner, or say that I’m out with the family and buying them dinner. Or buying a cup of coffee for
somebody behind you in Starbucks. Or just little random… Holding the door for someone. Looking someone in the eye and smiling and saying hello. You know, that’ll creep people out. You know they’re not used to that
anymore! So what random acts of kindness do you do? And what can you do today to a total stranger, knowing that you’ll never get
anything back in return? That’s the true definition of being good and doing good. Research has shown a strong
correlation between helping behavior and people’s health, longevity, and well-being. So if those random acts of kindness actually are good
for your health. Because you just… You have… You feel good. And you feel better just because you made somebody
smile. So your smiling helping someone else to get that sour look
on their face and smiling back makes you feel good. Releases endorphins and you’re happier. Number six. Happy people understand that
material wealth is not success and true happiness. It can help. It can make things a little bit more
comfortable at times. But that shouldn’t be the be all and end all goal to accumulate a lot of money. There is a limited number of joyful things that “things” bring to us. And in 1940 — or it was it 1930. No it mast have been at the end of the Great Depression. So back then, they did a happiness scale. They did studies and people had nothing. The Happines Scale was right around
8.0 On a scale of one to ten. 7.9 to 8.0. And then they did that currently with all of our wealth, everybody has a smartphone and iPad’s and computers and cars. The happiness rate in 2015 was 7.2. So things don’t make us happy. It’s also a strong predictor
materialism. People who strive for money and strive for things to surround themselves with in the long run have a lower… it is actually a predictor of unhappiness when people are
materialistic. And they’ve done lots of studies. But there’s one that is a very well
done study was like 15,000 students at (ummm… where was it. I don’t see where it is.) But there were 15,000 freshmen who — they studied them — and the ones who focused on materialism and that was going to be their big
goal. They went back to these same
students 25 years later and the ones who had focused on
materialism had either committed suicide or were depressed. Not all of them but a majority of them were not happy people. Because that was their main focus. Number 7 habit of happy people: they have coping strategies. Kind of talked about that earlier
about compartmentalizing and learning to change things into a problem solving exercise as opposed to being overwhelmed by the sense of things that are going on. So post-traumatic growth — Post-Traumatic Growth!— is a positive personal change after a traumatic incident. And there are five factors that studies have shown after a traumatic event. There are five factors of growth after a challenging event. Number one that I have a written
down — a renewed appreciation for life. If you’ve ever had a close brush with death, like I had cancer
last year. Especially the heart attack
after the heart attack you really have a stronger appreciation for life. The second area of growth after
trauma is recognizing that there are new
paths in your life. So when you have something horrible happen, and you’re like, “Well let me
re-evaluate. Wait a minute. There are other
options for me I can pursue different paths.” Number
three is an enhanced personal strength. How many of you have overcome something huge? There’s something horrible that happened in your life and you live to tell the story. You are a survivor. If you did it once you can do it
again. So there’s nothing that life can
throw at you that you can’t handle especially
if you go back to number one and you have a strong network of friends and family and people that you can
turn to. So number three is enhanced personal
strength. The number 4 area of growth after
trauma is improved relationships with others. And number five has spiritual
growth. Not in that order. So develop coping strategies. And know that if you’ve overcome
something the past — and everybody has because you’re still here to
tell the tale! Those are the five areas of growth that you will experience after a
traumatic (or you can experience) after a
traumatic event. So make sure you take that
tragedy and turn it into. I don’t know a symphony something. Number eight happy people focus on
their health both physical and mental and spiritual. Both. That would be all three. So you take care of your mind. Your body. Your spirit. They act — happy people act like happy people because they’re
working on their emotions and they’re trying to grow
emotionally and grow physically and grow in their mental health and their spiritual health. And they bring that level of optimism and happiness and engagement into their everyday activities. It’s like watching a child play with a toy. It’s like the wonder of seeing
something for the first time, or the first time you saw the
mountains, or the first time you saw the ocean, or a beautiful sunset. That sense of awe and wonder and joy and happiness. Take that into everything that you
do today and see how you feel differently at
the end of the day. Number nine. Happy people cultivate their
spirituality. There is a growing ever growing body of scientific evidence that says spiritual people
are happier people. They’re happier. They’re healthier. They recover faster after trauma. They recover faster after health
problems. Having a strong spirituality and faith assists you in every area of your life. So that the spiritual — and I want to say emotions I’m
looking for the right word — your spirituality is essential, really, because it helps you connect to something outside of
yourself. To something bigger and understand that, “It Ain’t All About You. It Ain’t All About Me.” We’re part of a bigger network of people and spirituality. And finally happy people have direction. They have goals. And that’s one of the things we’re
doing in the Gorgeous Gals Mastermind group right now is we’re
going through a 12 week program where we’re starting right at the
beginning. And if you’re not in yet. Jump in now. It’s not too late to
jump in. But we’re starting with defining your idea of happiness and success because if you don’t have a target a goal to aim at how are you to get there? You know if you like, “Hey, let’s
hop in the car and go on vacation. Where are we
going? Well, we want to go to Disney World but let’s just go! We’ll hop in the
car and go! But we don’t have a map! And we don’t know where we are. We don’t know which way to turn and what road to turn on. How are you ever going to get where you want to be if you don’t have a map and a plan to get there? So what we’re doing — that’s what
we’re doing right now in the Gorgeous Gals. So happy people have values that
they care about an outcomes that they know are worth working for. So having direction and having a goal is essential. So those are the 10 habits that happy people develop and they have a specific set of strategies that causes them to see life differently than “wallowing” people. It’s kind of like a balanced portfolio of skills and emotions that they’re aware of. They have that Emotional
Intelligence — they’re aware of that and they’re working toward it. So what would you add to the list? Comment below and tell me what strategies you use to keep yourself happy and share those ideas with other people so we can be happy
too. All right that’s it for today. If you’re watching live on Facebook
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