– Would you like a alcohol? – I certainly would, you
sophisticated smooth talker. – Are you seriously
trying to make me jealous by flirting with what is very
obviously just three kids stacked on top of each
other under a trench coat? (lively music) – What is the message behind your music? – Are you kidding? I’m Sarah freaking Lynn. I’m gonna be sexy forever! – Uh, this a bad time? – It’s fine. I can talk to you and also judge these women’s bodies at the same time. – I love Sarah Lynn. I grew up on her music, okay. And she’s like an inspiration, but now she’s old and shriveled and broke and nobody want her anymore, okay. They want Sextina Aquafina, baby! – That slippery, slimy,
cold-blooded, bug-eyed– – What’s new, pussycat? – Gekko. – In the flesh. – (laughs) How are you? – What a morning, huh? – Ana? – I won’t be working with Jurge anymore. I let him know this morning. At first he thought I was just
doing a really good prank, but eventually I think he understood. – You dropped Jurge, Jurge Clooners? Sexiest man in America, Jurge Clooners? – Well, I was talking to Wayne. – Who’s Wayne? – I’m Wayne. – Wayne’s writing an article
about me for BuzzFeed. – [Sebastian] Diann. Sebastian St. Clair here, famed billionaire
philanthropist adventurer. Please hold your applause. – Okay? – Well, you can applaud a little. – Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold up. – If your story can have Princess Diana, why can’t mine have Emperor Fingerface? – It’s not actually Princess
Diana, she’s just named Diana. – I been picturing Princess Diana. – The show came to me when I was in rehab. I realized I’m only here
on this Earth for a bit, why not dig deeper? – Hah. – Don’t get me wrong, BoJack, I’m proud of the seven years
I spent on Krill and Grace. – That show did so much for the way society views krill people. – What are you doing here? – Wanna get a drink? – It’s eight in the morning. – Well, it’s 5:00 p.m. in Los Angeles. – That’s not true.
– I actually don’t know what time it is. – You, that dress is hideous. Go home, burn it, and come back. When we know what we know
about a monster like that, and we still put him on TV every week, we’re teaching a generation
of young boys and girls that a man’s reputation is more important than the lives of the women he’s ruined. – As your accountant, I felt it necessary to do this in person. – Us too, because we’re
really accounting on you. – Oh no.
– To get in on the ground floor of this exciting new- – Oh no, no, don’t do
this, please God, no. – Hello, drug merchant. Is it lit under here? – What? – Are there illegal pharmaceuticals
available for purchase? And please, talk into my lollipop. – So, you’re the famous Yolanda? – I’m not famous, you
might have me confused with another more famous Yolanda. – I know, I just meant because
Todd talks about you so much, I feel like you’re famous. – Steve, you still fixing up your truck? – You’re thinking of
Emily’s old boyfriend, Firefighter Steve Demarco. Yeah, I’m Firefighter Steve D’Mazio. We’re very different. – Computer BoJack had so much
charisma and screen presence, we ended up going back and
replacing you in every scene. – Wait, so I’m not in the movie at all? – Well, not technically, but computer you is giving the
performance of your career. (dramatic music)
– It is now day three of the great BoJack jerk-off. Really? That’s the name we came up with for this? Who came up with that? Was it Randy? Did Randy come up with that? – Um? – It’s me pickles, from before. Pretty cool you’re dating a celebrity. – Okay.
– I’m also dating a celebrity. – Wow.
– Should we start a club? I call Vice President. – So, to be clear, my drought plan is actually a drought relief plan. I see now how that’s confusing. Any other questions? – Are you going to race Mr. Peanut Butter? – Any questions about the drought plan? – I talked to 23 women today, and none of them were my mother. How did you find me? – I went to everyone on that list. – You talked to all those women? Someone them- – Really haven’t aged well, I know. – I was gonna say really hate you. – Okay, what if we got relevant superstar, David Copperfield, to make the
World Trade Center disappear? – Oh, I hate to be the
one to tell you this, but David Copperfield really
isn’t a big draw anymore. – You’re a cat. – And you’re a mouse. I think I know how this ends. (both laugh) – Well, let’s not waste each other’s time, and cut right to the chase. It was nice to meet you, uh? – Ralph Stilton. It was nice to meet you. May all your disasters
be this easy to avoid. – Hey girl, just checking up on that applicable content
you were working on. I’m doing a new
fully-immersive 3D spin class. Oh you know what? I’m just biking. – Do you love your character? I mean–
– Do I love Internal Affair’s director Sassy Malone, whose primary character
traits are that she hates bras and loves cold rooms? Not especially, it feels
gratuitous and male-gazey. – Judah! Can I get your John Wilkes Handcock? – Oh I never developed a signature. I find them unnecessarily ostentatious. But I can print my name legibly. – Thank you, Rain Man Bun. That’ll do nicely. – Vincent Adultman, how are
things at the old nine to five? – Good, I went to the stock market today. I did a business. – [Princess Carolyn] I keep
telling him he works too hard.