Celebrity Noses: The Chair

Celebrity Noses: The Chair


>>James: WELCOME BACK. THIS HERE IS “THE LATE LATE
SHOW.” NOW, I’VE GOT TO SAY WE’RE SO
EXCITED BECAUSE TONIGHT WE ARE — WE’RE GOING TO DO ONE OF
OUR FAVORITE-EVER GAMES HERE ON THE SHOW. IT IT’S SO — IS MY — DO I LOOK
TOO HIGH? I’VE GOT A NEW CHAIR. I GOT A NEW CHAIR. I KNOW, WAIT, HANG ON. OK. THERE WE GO. IS THAT BETTER? THAT’S ALL RIGHT, SO — SORRY. SO THIS IS ONE OF OUR FAVORITE
GAMES ON THE SHOW. AND THE TRUTH IS, THE GAME IS
CALLED “CELEBRITY NOSES.” WE’VE HAD TROUBLE WITH THIS BIT
IN THE PAST. SOMETHING ALWAYS SEEMS TO GO
WRONG. THE TRUTH IS WE LOVE THIS BIT,
DON’T WE, REG? WE LOVE IT SO MUCH. ANYONE WHO’S COME TO SEE IT IN
REHEARSALS. THE FIRST THING THEY SAY IS THIS
IS THE BEST BIT IN LATE NIGHT. WE REALLY FEEL WE’VE GOT IT
TOGETHER. WE’VE REALLY GOT IT TOGETHER. WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, YOU KNOW
WHAT IS COMING. I SMELL A GOOD TIME. YOU SMELL A GOOD TIME. IT’S TIME FOR CELEBRITY NOSES! ALL RIGHT, SO NOW, EVERY
CELEBRITY’S GOT A NOSE, OK? BUT SOME CELEBRITIES — IS THIS
MY CHAIR — AM I TOO LOW NOW? I SEE IT — I SEE IT ON THE
MONITOR — NO, LOOK — IT’S TOO — I’M TOO LOW, AREN’T I? I FEEL — BRAND-NEW
CHAIR — HANG ON, LET ME — WAIT A MINUTE, LET ME. WAIT, WAIT, HANG ON. HANG ON. WAIT. HANG ON. THAT’S LOW, WAIT. THAT’S TOO — RIGHT, WHAT’S
HAPPENED? HOW — WAIT, I’M NOT EVE
EVEN — WHAT — WHAT’S HAPPENIN HAPPENING? WHAT? NOW WHAT’S GOING ON?>>IT’S YOUR CHAIR.>>James: I KNOW IT’S MY CHAIR. I’M SAYING WHY WON’T IT MOVE?>>IT’S YOUR CHAIR.>>James: NO. I KNOW IT’S THE CHAIR, I’M WELL
AWARE THAT IT’S THE CHAIR. I’M SAYING WHAT’S HAPPENING —
>>THE LEVER IS ON THE RIGHT.>>James: I KNOW. I’M PRESSING THE LEVER RIGHT NOW
NOW –>>THE LEVER IS ON YOUR RIGHT.>>James: I KNOW WHERE THE LEVER
IS. I’M PRESSING IT! IT’S NOT WORKING — I DON’T — I
CAN’T EVEN! WAIT, AM I — HANG ON, THAT
RIGHT — EVERY TIME WE DO — HANG ON WE’LL DO
IT — WE’LL DO IT ANY WAY, BECAUSE IT’S SO — I’LL DO IT
FROM HERE. I’LL DO IT FROM HERE, OK? NO, WAIT, NO, NO, RIGHT, SO. OK, SO — HANG ON RIGHT — SO,
SO I SMELL A GOOD TIME, YOU SMELL A GOOD TIME, IT’S TIME FOR
“CELEBRITY NOSES.” DON’T PLAY THE MUSIC. DON’T PLAY THE MUSIC. OK, GREAT, GREAT, SO, EVERY
CELEBRITY’S GOT A NOSE, NOT ALL NOSES HAVE CELEBRITIES, OK? SO NOW, THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I’M — WHY IS IT NOT — OH, HANG
ON. WAIT, WAIT, HANG ON. WHAT IS HAPPENING — WHAT IS
GOING ON? WHAT IS GOING ON!>>PROWITH THE GAME.>>James: WHAT?>>PROWITH THE GAME — PROCEED
WITH THE GAME.>>James: WHAT?>>PROCEED WITH THE GAME.>>James: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO
PROCEED WITH THE GAME WHEN I’M NOT IN THE SHOT. HOW CAN I DO THAT IF YOU CAN’T
EVEN SEE ME.>>CAMERA COULD SEE YOU.>>James: NO. WHAT IS HAPPENING? I CAN’T — I CAN’T DO THE BIT,
THE CHAIR IS BROKEN!>>STAND BY. THE CHAIR IS BROKEN.>>James: I KNOW THAT THE CHAIR
IS BROKEN! I JUST SAID THAT THE CHAIR
IS — YOU CAN’T — COME ON! THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I’M LOSING EVERY SHRED OF MY
DIGNITY UP HERE!>>THAT IS TRUE.>>James: BUT I CAN’T — WE
CAN’T CARRY ON WITH THE BIT, I CAN’T REACH THE CARDS FROM HERE. LOOK — I CAN’T. DON’T GO TO THAT SHOT. I CAN’T — WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO
DO NOW FROM UP HERE?>>STAND BY. SOLUTION COMING.>>James: RIGHT?>>SOLUTION COMING.>>James: HOW IS THAT THE
SOLUTION?>>PROCEED WITH THE GAME.>>James: I CAN’T PROCEED WITH
THE GAME. THIS IS RIDICULOUS.>>PROCEED WITH THE GAME.>>James: BUT IT’S RIDICULOUS. WE CAN’T — RIGHT, LET’S JUST
BRING — HOLD ON. BRING IT DOWN. THERE’S NO WAY, PEOPLE. WON’T BE ABLE TO — RIGHT, FINE,
I’LL DO — FINE. I’VE GOT JOHN — RIGHT, OK. RIGHT. WE’RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME. I WANT TO GET TO THE JAMES VAN
DER BEEK — RIGHT, THIS IS ABSURD. I SMELL A GOOD TIME. YOU SMELL A GOOD TIME. IT’S TIME FOR — EVERY
CELEBRITY’S GOT A NOSE, OK? BUT NOT ALL NOSES HAVE
CELEBRITIES.>>WRAP IT UP, COMMERCIALS.>>James: I’M NOT WRAPPING UP IT
OK? WE’VE ONLY JUST STARTED THE BIT.>>RUNNING OUT OF TIME. WE HAVE COMMERCIALS JAM JAMES
WE’LL CARRY ON. FORGET IT. WE’LL PUSH SOMETHING ELSE. NO, I’M NOT WRAPPING IT UP. NO, I WILL NOT COME BACK DOWN
UNTIL WE’VE DONE THIS BIT. NO. NO. NO. [ BLEEP ] NO. [ BLEEP ].

100 thoughts on “Celebrity Noses: The Chair

  1. I really like the bit with the staff helping him with the "malfunctions".
    Staff: Lever is on your right.
    Staff: Camera can see you.
    Staff: Standby….. The chair is broken.

  2. Your just so damn friggin hilariously funny ! Loved this bit! Absolutely off the wall & unpredictable skits! LOL REALLY I AM!
    PEACE LOVE & DREAM'S!
    Most Sincerely Crystal Elk 🍁
    πŸ“·πŸŒŸπŸŒŸπŸŒŸπŸŒŸπŸŒŸπŸŒŸπŸŒŸβœ”πŸ’žπŸ—ΊπŸ’«πŸŽΌπŸŽΆπŸŽ­πŸ–’πŸ–’πŸ˜‚πŸŽΈπŸŽΉπŸŒ„πŸ˜€πŸ•ŠπŸ’žπŸ’­πŸŽ¬

  3. please stop with the fake scripted skits, at first it was a little funny but then it became too cliche and obvious it was practiced. Your show used to be a lot better

  4. This is where I miss Craig Ferguson's show. It was all spontaneous and unscripted. Much more funnier than scripted bits.

  5. For all of you complaining, it won't make a difference 170 of you may have dislikes this but 1,274 people like this so shut up

  6. Why didn't they just get him a new chair? I mean, I know it was for the sake of the sketch, but if this had actually happened, that would have been my solution.

  7. Humpty Dumpty sat on a chair – Humpty Dumpty what's almost not to share – All of CBS' horses and all of CBS' men – might as well get this Humpty pull himself together again! P.S. Imagine George Strait singing about James' chair.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *