Echoism: The Opposite of Narcissism (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

55 thoughts on “Echoism: The Opposite of Narcissism (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

  1. Hi Angie, it's me and then some, yes I've heard of it! How do you get the police involved when they have manipulationships lol with the frenemy husband!?Take care and thanks!

  2. Thank You for this awesome video. I hate to say it but the Echo fits me to a T. It’s rather frightening to admit it. But, it’s all true. I’ll just leave it there for now. I hope someone can help the fellow spanilly member with her frenemy. 👍

  3. It's me to the T. I thought it was called codependency. Sure sounds like what you call an empath. With the Facebook craze (narcissistic heaven) I can see the rise in more empaths.

  4. I have alot of echoist qualities but I think I'm still an empath. When I was much younger I would've fit the echoist profile, but not so much anymore.

  5. Yes, I think Echoists exist and that I may have been like it at one point. The narc ex also believed in toxic empathy and called people who felt too much 'emotiopaths'.

  6. I believe this a very valid concept or theory. Just as much as the term Empath. It’s a little different spin on it. If you will. Leading to the basic premise that both are easily targeted and taken in my a Toxic Narcissist or NPD. We really need to guard ourselves or I know I do. From the Narcissist. I still have a long way to go. I’m still very angry with myself and the XN. And I think he still believes I’m still his girlfriend or supply when he chooses. I get to the point where I do feel sorry for him. But, he never changes. Always turns on me again. I’m lost. Some days are better than others. Sometimes I still don’t think it’s very widely understood what a survivor of Narcissist Abuse goes through and has to deal with emotionally and psychologically. Thanks for adding what some Psychologists think of this. Whether it’s right or wrong. Actually. I would guess you and your team have more statistics about this than what any others do. I appreciate your ongoing help in helping Survivors through the recovery process. I want to give you a big hug 🤗. 👍

  7. Thank you for these videos and this is soo true. My mom is a narcissist and I feel like I am an echoist since watching this video and you explaining what it is and I am an introvert as well to an extent like I like to speak up on things but not in the limelight but anyway thank you soo much for these videos and GOD bless you.

  8. This is the first time I've heard of echoism. The traits are the same as those for any person with low self esteem and who seeks validation outside themselves. I would have some of those traits, shaking off the "pleasing others" one though. Kinda feels like it's a new buzzword/label, then again I ain't no expert!

  9. I think it does matter to some extent,the terms and how we get to them.Empathy used to be something people had,now its turned into some mythical superhero figure and a bit of an excuse for some,to remain in victimhood.
    This little "mythology" will catch on and now we'll have echoist who are also mythical superheros that can remain in victimhood.
    I saw it constantly on a support forum page,and everyone just plays along and reinforces that people are too helpless to break the cycle.I agree with the majority of the experts,this isnt a good idea.
    I do have one question.
    Why is the girl who sees a man and decides to attach herself to him,seemingly without his consent or interest,a victim at all? Because someone else cursed her,hes the big bad guy?

  10. Yes, you kind of brushed passed a light bulb moment quickly. "Echoists get their needs met by meeting other people's needs." People who are entitled to reciprocation scare me. As a low income person I often refuse offers of favors and help because "I am unable to reciprocate." This is one of the boundaries in my recovery that has posed a real problem. The fact that I have to have this boundary in the first place suggests I'm dealing with this. So this is a "reverse narcissist?" Are they as hopeless for recovery as a narcissist? Would they want to change?

  11. What's the best way in your opinion for a Male dealing with a narcissistic female(s).??? Is it the same? I've dealt with narc males. Narc females seem to add in passive aggressiveness which makes it impossible.

  12. When ever I see these videos, like this one or Jordan Petersons, I cant help but wonder if this lady, or men like Jordan have any flaws themselves. Reason I state this is I wonder what personal challenges this female or Jordan has besides profiling and analyzing everyone and everything.

  13. I don't know what validation feels like. I imagine it's comforting something I've rarely felt growing up (im 27)
    Maybe not echoism but part of my personality. Quiet BPD

  14. Hi Angie!
    I am educating myself about my narc . I've read a book "stop caretaking of the borderline or narcissist" by Margalis Fjelsrad. She is talking about 'echoists' as caretakers. And those that who grew up with narc and go into their adult life seeking for the same narcs are people that try to finish "unfinished business" of their caretakers-parents that did not succeed changing narcs.
    There was a comment about 'echoist' are coming from the family with narcs. It is not nesserally true because the family my narc came from has father narc and sibling of my narc is a caretaker/echoist. And now I am blessed with two kids: narc and caretaker. I can see now while they are small how my caretaker child being trained sometimes to take care of my other narc child. It scares me. I really want to be separated and at the same time I cannot. I just can teach my caretaker child skills to stand sheer ground in this kind of relationship.
    I would say that my honey to recovery is just beginning. I was able to recover my sanity and creat some kind of boarders with my narc. And I want to get better and happier in my life so I stop this same life patterns stop for my children, kind of break this circle. As it says in the book if there is no way to escape the relationship is good to show your children how to put boundaries from narc attacks and teach the same skills by own example.

  15. When you said echoism I immediately thought that it meant echoing the thoughts/feelings of the narcissist when you are still enmeshed. I find myself stating what my husband thinks about something, instead of knowing what I think, and saying that.

  16. After listening to you I recalled Sam vaknins inverted narcissist which he coined.
    Inverted narcissism and echoism are one and the same.
    And I am an ecoist and you describe me to the T.
    Love you and your videos.
    The colours, smile and all

  17. You just hit everything about me. I never work on me bc I was taught Me isn’t that important. One of yr questions was do I think Echoism is a way to get that attention? Attention can mean danger do I say no. I cringe at attention. Spotlight can mean danger!

  18. Whoa!! Interesting! This definitely applies to us as narc abused survivors…As empaths…As echoists!! Thank You, Angie!! Says it all doesn't it! We'll if we enjoy that role…There has to be a balance …and an educated echoist! Even if…nothing we do will ever bring balance to a Narc partner..They always have another tactic…another planned plot….Another evil approach and well thought out venture for us!! Glad for this video as always, Angie! I speak my mind!! Will look this up!

  19. Hi everyone, great topic Angie! I have heard of the beautiful mountain nymph Echo in reference to Greek mythology but I’ve also heard they are referring Millennials (babies born in the 2000’s) as Echo boomers because of their high birth rates. I’m assuming they are coining that term “Echoism” just like they did “Narciss” from Greek mythology because it is indeed the opposite of narcissism “ maybe since she had no voice just like some of the victims of Narcissistic abuse. My daughter who was born in 2004 has a lot of echoistic qualities that I’m trying to help her get out of. Thanks for the interesting video! I am also looking forward to reading this book.

  20. Great explanation! Never heard of Echoism before.
    BTW, love the black screen behind you. It was easier to see you & looked very professional! You’re such a beautiful lady, Angie!

  21. I have found a lot of Psychologists to be echoists, they just repeat back to me what I'm saying. It seems almost retarded and very frustrating, also almost as if they are being sarcastic and they cant be bothered to stretch their brain to come up with their own solutions.

  22. I think it’s an interesting theory but it’s another label. I do believe in empaths and I do believe there are narcissists but I think that a term of definition for the one targeted by the narcissist has already been established and there doesn’t need to be another term for them. Not all of us react in the way that Echo did. Some of us fight with the narcissist and some of us choose not to give them the satisfaction of our voice and choose self preservation.

  23. I dont think echoism is the same as being W a narc, so because i remained silent almost two years w My ex-husband and got into that r-ship Cause i was depressed and lost- also couldnt find a way out. He moved into My apartment and i couldnt say No or kick him out. Im pretty talkative and am slightly more extroverted than introverted. Bipolarity Did/does play its part aswell. I love your show. Its sooo encouraging just completely awesome ❤️ Thank you ❤️❤️❤️Angie ❤️❤️❤️ Also Dana! ❤️ ❤️❤️❤️ You have helped me so much ❤️

  24. When a relationship between mother and daughter in the twighlight years is intermittently toxic is there any other way in resolving the dysfunction other than getting out of the relationship? I would say I have some parts echosm, some parts empath, I sure don't fit the labels entirely, but then I am human and won't own any label another person gives me, just because they choose to.

  25. Hi Angie, yes I think I have lived with an echoistic tenency…I think my mother was narcissistic…I have listened to Dr Malkin and I really identify with his explanation of Echoistic traits. I am currently making myself separate from a 'friendship' that I have been stuck in/addicted to for thirty years!!!!! and yes, you guessed it, she is a narcissist……….. I had a real sense that she was 'just like my mother' but still couldn't prize myself away from making her the focuss of the relationship….her needs….her concerns etc I have stopped calling her and she noticed very quickly…she called me twice and was uncharacteristically sweet and concerned with my welfare…. I resisted asking her "when shall we meet" and so we aren't meeting this weekend – It's quite tough to break this unhealthy cycle but I really want to have heathy balanced relationships….I finally see that I deserve it…….the Echoism idea has been REALLY helpful to me

  26. I think one of the most important components of healing from this type of abuse is finding something that you can identify with. You are so blindsided and traumatized in the beginning of a full-on discard that you have absolutely no way of logically piecing together the events that led to the point you find yourself in, and of course the people they become post-discard are utterly unrecognizable in an extremely malicious way. It took me 11 months to come to terms with the fact that I had lived with, married, and had a child with one of these people. At first, I thought I was codependant, then an “empath”, and finally I came across Malkin’s “echoist” trait theory, and finally everything began to fit into place. I now understand what parts of me I need to work on, and have a roadmap of how to get there.

  27. Thank you Angie! Echoism seems to explain why I can’t figure my life out since leaving my narc husband and trying to unenmesh with my narc parents. My parents attribute my inability to move forward with me not taking their advice or having a significant other in my life. What’s weird is i remember my husband taking on my positive characteristics when we first met, all while projecting his negative characteristics onto me later on. I’m seeing the exact same thing, only more insidiously, when I talk on the phone with my parents. It’s like, not only is my voice being extinguished, when they occasionally allow me my voice they take it as their own.

  28. This was me to a tee… sadly, I noticed that it a problem when my children started to be like me and I wasn't ok with it..

  29. I can relate to everything you said about echoism, however i have not been a victim of narcissist, infact i do not have anyone close in my life who is a narcissist…… It would be interesting to know why psychologists are calling bs on this concept.

  30. Just now hearing of this echoism disorder. Ashamed to admit it but this is me. Narc father growing up. Always focused on being/acting/ talking/ thinking as opposite as I could as he was/is. Didn't see this echoism pitfall. Well, at least now I recognize the problem. Step 1 ….ugh

  31. To me, echoism sounds a lot like a fawn response fitting in a CPTS-R construct. It's not quite codependence, it's even more self-effacing than that.

  32. I think story is just a way of describing the golden child and scapegoat. Narcissist =golden child echoist =scapegoat.

  33. This term I've just found this year 2019. Narcissistic too, because I've grown up with ppl who show many traits of Narcissists. And had marriage Relationship too. So still learning about this its very interesting. I'm mom of 5 adult children and 11 grandchildren, and wife of 15 yrs. But many days I question my marriage life, I'm going to counseling now again hopefully things will improve. But I understand it's a life long recovery journey for me.

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