ENNEAGRAM Type 5 | Annoying Things Fives Do and Say

ENNEAGRAM Type 5 | Annoying Things Fives Do and Say

This video is for all you Enneagram fives. This is fascinating. You never know when you might need to research something. I’m almost ready for lunch! So pokey. Oh! I found an ant.
I wonder why ants go on cacti? Did you bring your phone? I’m gonna look it up.
I’ll come during the party in just a little bit. I just need a little time to
myself. But just. Just a little bit. I’m just. I’ll be right there. I just. I’m just.
One second. I’m just gonna. Okay by. In this video we’re gonna be talking all
about Enneagram fives. AKA the investigator. If you don’t know what the
Enneagram is I’ve made a quick and simple beginner’s guide to the Enneagram and linked it in a card right here. I’m Abbey Howe and I’m here to help
you discover you. For more videos about personality types and the Enneagram make sure to subscribe to this channel. Now on to Enneagram Five! At their best
healthy fives are perceptive, insightful and curious. They have the ability to
develop complex skills and ideas. They often have a depth of knowledge in
several areas of their lives and they have the ability to see the world in
innovative new ways. I have a five in my life who’s one of the most important
people to me. She is loving. She’s passionate.She’s super interesting. She’s
the best listener in the whole world and she always helps me deconstruct my very
complicated emotions. That said, there are also some very annoying things that
Enneagram fives do. So in this video I’m going to explore seven annoying things
that Enneagram fives do and say. But keep in mind this is all in good fun. I just
want to explore the Enneagram in a funny, light-hearted way. Number one. Enneagram fives’ basic fear is of being useless. This means that they often
struggle with anything in their lives that makes them feel incompetent or
incapable. So that’s why I think that unless you have something revolutionary
to add to a musical that’s already been done, revival should just stop. I mean
there’s so many amazing new musicals out there that deserve the time and
attention of Broadway. But oh, no, let’s do Rent ..let’s do Cats again cuz we know it works. Don’t you agree?
Um. I, I don’t know anything about musicals. But, um, I’m just gonna run home real quick and watch ten thousand YouTube videos and then I’ll get back to you on
that. So if you’ll just excuse me. I’ll .. just excuse me okay. Number two. Unhealthy fives don’t want to depend on anyone for anything.
This means that social engagements can be really difficult for a five because
they experience the world as overwhelming, intrusive, and draining. They don’t believe that they have the inner energy needed to meet the demands of
life. So they detach. Are people gonna think I’m lame? Engage. Stay present. Is he upset about his boss? This is exhausting! I gotta get out of here! I have to go
home! I have to! My apartment’s on fire! I gotta get out of here! Number three. Because Fives collect knowledge, they
often are more aware than anyone of all the things that they don’t know. This
means that you can often find them doubting their qualifications. Even if
they’ve been studying something for like a decade. Oh God.
I think I threw a joint out in my back or something. Do you think you could take
a look at it? Oh man I just don’t know if I could figure it out. You’re a
chiropractor! Yes but I was at a chiropractor conference this weekend and
there was this speaker who talked about the complications between back pain and
sleep positions and there’s so much to think about. So much to research. So I
really need to do that before I ever work on anyone ever again.
You’ve been a chiropractor for ten years! I don’t know what to tell ya. Hey! Number
four. Fives prefer to observe rather than actively participate. This is a
defense strategy for the five because they believe that if you if you like
learn enough from the sidelines you’ll be prepared and ready to jump in if
something is expected of them. Unfortunately this strategy causes
isolation and separation from other people. Are you sure you don’t want to join us?
We’re doing vinyasa yoga today. No that’s okay. I think I’m just gonna watch so I
can learn how to do it that way. Okay. Number five. A five’s
constant hunger for knowledge provides fives a sense of control against
feelings of inadequacy. This can lead to a five being buried by that knowledge
collecting. Also known as falling down a bottomless worm hole known as the
Internet! Have you been here all day? Oh yeah, I’m just researching how to fix my
watch. You know there’s a watch repair shop right up the street. I’m learning
how to do it myself. So you spent your entire Saturday researching how to reset
a dial in a five-dollar watch you bought at Walgreens instead of spending your
weekend… I don’t know, hanging out with me and
seeing Star Wars? Yep. You know what “watch girl”? I’ll be in the living room
doing fun things. Have fun with your watch. Your new best friend. Number six. The deadly sin of the five is avarice. Now I’d never heard this word
before so I may be saying it wrong and I had to look it up. It basically means
greed. But it’s not greed in the sense that we think of like, oh I have to have
all the new things, I want all this stuff. Instead fives are more concerned with
hoarding what they already have. So this can mean that fives withhold love and
affection from those closest to them. I think what it means is that fives have
this inner energy and they are afraid that they don’t have enough to go around.
So if that means that they’re gonna be spending their inner energy on, like,
hugging somebody or spending time with a loved one and and they think they don’t
have enough inner energy, they will just not do it and that could come off as
withholding love because they are trying to hoard what is already inside of them.
I’m having such a bad day. Could I have a hug? I think that would make me feel
better. Oh you know I would but I’m getting sick. I don’t want to get you
sick. Oh, okay. Um, well do you want to go get coffee or something? I think that
would be a great way to turn my day around. I love you but I really need to
do my own thing right now so, no. Not going to coffee. And finally number seven. Of all the types, fives are the most emotionally detached. This does not mean that fives don’t feel things but it does mean
that they have trouble processing and they don’t want to process because
they’re afraid that it’s gonna waste their precious resources.
Why did Marlee have to die? Well he had a near fatal intestinal disorder so after
the second attack there was just no way he was gonna live a pain-free life.
Honestly euthanasia was probably the most ethical option. What? Why are you
crying so hard? Man’s best friend! If you’re an Enneagram five did these resonate with you?
Let me know in the comments down below. I think five is the Enneagram number that
I have struggled with understanding the most so far of all of the Enneagrams
that I’ve been studying so I would really greatly appreciate any feedback
you have. If you want to see more Enneagram videos I’ve put a playlist of
all my Enneagram videos in the description down below. Thank you so much for watching and, as always, have a lovely lovely day!

98 thoughts on “ENNEAGRAM Type 5 | Annoying Things Fives Do and Say

  1. I just spent an hour researching why Linepithema humile, formerly Iridomyrmex humilis, aka Argentine ants, go on Opuntia ficus-indica , aka Prickly Pear cactus.

    Sometimes my curiosity even bugs myself.

  2. 30 seconds in and thumbs up and laughing my ass off. I was literally shoving books in my bag as this was playing!!!!! No shame here.

  3. I‘m type 5 and I wish I'd feel attacked but I don’t… as in I don’t see the problem. Except in the last one, I'd add that I'm sorry and so on to my medical facts 😬

  4. Loved this! Looks like me! 🥴😂 for the last one, I will say that I am emotionally detached with people, but I will cry over a movie in a heartbeat. It is the face to face interpersonal that I am detached from. I do hoard those resources like mentioned in the earlier example.

  5. I am 5 with a 4 wing. Well, when a five moves to disintegration towards isolated nihilist being useful is not so important. We will actually rather than using our knowledge to connect rather use it to make people see reality in ways that will make them not comfortable and avoid us.

    We don't mind being in groups if its in an organized way with clear aims to what where doing. A five rather than leaving the party can be a master of blending in as well to the scenery making it so they become invisible.

  6. I do that in movies all the time. I was banned from movies by friends for either being insensitive or predicting the ending in the first five minutes.

    I'm obsessed with psychology and literature and media in general. Which means I'm awesome at talking so much about emotions and people no one notices I'm not having emotions or doing much peopling:D I don't leave parties. I hide in the corner and talk to the cat.

    But I also totally lose it emotionally in a heart beat if I let anything in, and I do try. We're gosh darn gummy bears inside. All mush. It's why the exoskeleton is so important!

  7. This is not how 5's act. I'm not sure anyone commenting or liking this video has met a real 5. But I wouldn't be surprised if half of them also think they're one.

  8. im a 5 and wow this is really relatable…. #6 was definitely me. i think 5s also tend to be really introverted (especially if theyre 5w6 like me) and that contributes even more to a lot of these tendencies!! awesome video!!!

  9. I'm a five…don't get any phrase such as "unfortunately this makes it hard to connect to people" type sentiment. We don't connect because we don't want to, lol. People are going to say or do all the things, we're going to have a reaction, and having to express feelings is super stressful. I think it's easier to just circumvent those sticky issues and just read or do research, instead.

  10. Wowowow. I feel attacked by the book shoving. 😂 I feel like I am a lazy or picky 5 because when I want to learn stuff I save all the books I want to buy on it but I rarely go through with learning it unless I see it having a greater impact on my career or self.
    Also I heard another discussion on 5s say that we get angry when something makes us feel things that we don't want to feel or catches us off guard. This is very true for me. I hate sad movies. Why would I want to waste my precious energy being sad or crying?!?!? It ticks me off.
    The last thing I've heard and that is very true for me is that we don't like to feel things in real time. We like to stuff it down to feel it later in private or when we have the energy.
    Loved this video.

  11. Before I go on a flight…I back a crap ton of books. I never read them…"that just in case" pops in my head. I can just look at my phone…but I guess I forget all that. I also do lots of research before doing many things…those deep dives can last days…then experiential experiments occur. Good times. Great video. 😂

  12. The hug and the book hoarding is something I relate to. I bought a book on the different types of roses a couple mos ago. Even at the time I was like "When will I ever actually read this? Probably not for ten years or so… Yeah I should buy it."
    Or I dont like investing in people because Im afraid to spread myself too thin so its hard to commit to things. Hahahahaha

  13. 5 here. The avarice part is pretty right on. I always calculate how much energy I'm going to have to share before an engagement. And the thought alone is overwhelming =-(

  14. I am a 4w5 wing and I can say that my wing is VERY strong. Even as a four, I completely identify with the endless learning and emotional detachment. I have been labeled as rudely honest…the Marley died segment highlighted exactly what I would think, but as a four, I would be a little more empathetic. Anyway, good video. 👍💓

  15. 5 here 👋, great video loved it haha ! I related to all except the first and the last. I’m actually not a huge reader of books, I’m a time hoarder so if there’s something to research it needs to be soooo worth my time. The internet is my bff however, but I am stingy with what I research ever since I’ve noticed I become obsessed and At times it’s unhealthy . The last one, I’m definitely emotional with movies and music, it’s probably the only times I allow emotions to push through in the name of art. Face to face ? Meh. I realllllllly don’t know what to do when people cry in front of me, even if I understand why they’re crying or if it’s a movie I’m crying about I still don’t have the energy to comfort them but I try 😬 this is awesome of you to do these, subscribed !!

  16. I live in a house with a 5…..oh dear ..whilst I am up at 6 for a morning run they are researching all the accidents that could happen jogging …oh dear ….and they sometimes cook dinner .but they need a week to plan it out …oh dear.

  17. I can be annoyed when ppl get over emotional. I feel them and it’s to intense. So fives aren’t cold. I like harmony and good vibes. I don’t like sad movies because I will cry. I don’t like it. This type is misunderstood and stereotyped.

  18. Haha these all resonate with me except for the last one. But this is more accurate than most ennegram stereotypes so thanks 🙃

  19. I'm so called out but I won't do anything about it because it's the only way I am capable of living.

  20. Ha ha 😉 I’ve taken a test, and yes I’m most probably a typical 5
    Type 5 – 7.0
    Type 1 – 4.7
    Type 9 – 4.7
    Type 8 – 3.4
    Type 4 – 1.7
    Type 6 – 1.7

    A 5 when I’m in my bubble, and I need much time to be alone. And I love to study.
    And I’m anoying nobody when I’m alone with all my thougts and interesses. 😉
    But in social situations I tend to be more 9 and 1 (other side of the 5 axes)
    And 8 if realy necessary. 😉

  21. As a 5, I dislike movies that’s main focus is drama/emotion. I strongly dislike dramatic movies about animals, as I have never had a pet and can not reciprocate that connection. I will watch comedy, action, thriller, maybe horror, SCI-FI , and romance (particularly gay romance movies), and many indie movies because I like the ambience and music.

  22. A friend told me about the enneagram, and I'd never heard of it. After that short convo, I took 4 enneagram tests, spent 5ish hours reading articles on it, and am on my 7th YT video on it when…"I'm just gonna run home real quick and watch 10,000 YT videos."………………which is great news knowing I'm now 0.07% of the way there.

  23. even though I'm 99.99% sure I'm a 5w6, I only understand emotions when I have them. And it is SO funny, my sister will cry at a movie or something, and I'll be like "why, huh?" , and then she'll hate me more.

  24. I’m a five and most of this resonates with me with the exception of not being able to comfort or support loved ones in times of grief. I do have trouble feeling what they’re feeling, but I will try to ask what they need or intuit their needs based on their past behavior. Like, I won’t usually cry with you, but I’ll be the first to get you a tissue and a glass of water or a blanket. Also, I would never be that cruel if someone’s pet died. Man alive. At worst, I’d sit with them while they cried and wish I was somewhere else.

  25. There's actually a misconception about the five's emotional detachment. While there are some (particularly the 5w6s) that are not so emotional, a lot of fives have this deep well of emotion. As a five I do find myself crying over movies and books and random things (if I'm by myself, that is). But you are right in saying that fives distance themselves from their emotions as a protective measure. I would even describe it as a reflex. So it's not that fives are unemotional, there's just that fear of being overwhelmed by our emotions. Fives will have those moments when they're really moved by a piece of art (5w4s mostly) or sometimes when I'm reading a non-fiction book I get this rushing feeling. I love learning so much I have cried tears of happiness when reading about philosophy.

    As for comforting friends and family, I will absolutely do that. It's not easy. Really, I do want to escape and I wish I was somewhere else when someone is offloading their emotions on me, but I put those I care about first. I am an INFP so it is easier for me to empathise, but I get that impulse to detach from the emotions.

    Man, there are so many contradictions in my character. I thought I was a 4 at first, but no. Being an INFP (or another feeling type) or being emotional does not mean you're not a 5. It's how we deal with our emotions that reflects on our character.

  26. Quite a lot of people in the comments saying they don't even want to connect with people or who don't see the problem with coming off as cold, so, idk, putting in my two cents as a 5 who definitely cares about that.

    The first one really hit me cause I haven't seen the fear of incompetence and uselessness being framed into such a casual everyday situation before, but it was definitely spot on for me, maybe cause it was a social situation. As an sx/so 5w4, my attention is centered on other people, although people also stress me out the most in this world, hahah.

    About the energy reserves though, I wouldn't say showing my love drains those reserves. But more generally, I do use my energy only on the people closest to me. And people who I love don't drain my energy as much.
    I've had to learn this though – when I was younger, it would feel embarrassing and stupid showing that I care, and stressing over it was draining, so I preferred not to do it. I felt incompetent at that, too. Nowadays I put in the effort to show/tell the people I care about how I feel.

    It's hard for me to make the incentive to console someone, but I would never turn down a close friend's direct request for my company. If someone asks me out for coffee or asks me to listen to them or hug them, implying that me doing so would be helpful, that my company alone would cheer them up, I would be absolutely flattered and would definitely do it.

    If it's a person I hardly know, though, and on short notice to boot, oof, that's a different story. I would still decline in a socially acceptable way, though, lol.

  27. you know way too many things about me without even knowing me…it's scary. every situation in the video made me feel like "yep, that's totally me"

  28. Just found out I was a five and I'm married to you with glasses, so I was cracking up this whole video! Well done!

  29. I have to observe people in multiple social settings and in intimate ones before deciding if they will be someone I accept as a friend and invest my hoarded emotions into. I have 2 friends who I trust, and will give up my time for. There are multiple people however that I'm friendly with, but they do not truly know or understand me as I keep myself blocked off emotionally from them, because I do not have the energy to invest in that friendship

  30. Came in expecting them to be true and funny, and it was! I do think the last one felt a little "off," but I'm not sure if it's because it's untrue, or because I've done a lot of work on myself.
    In a situation where the cause of emotion is obvious and justified, I think a five is as likely to feel compassionate as anybody else, though they might be awkward about expressing it. So the info-dumping about why death was for the best was right on, but "why are you crying?" felt less so.
    That kind of blunt dismissal of emotion will probably come up in a situation where it's less obvious why the person is upset, or when it seems like there's an obvious solution (and for a 5 who hasn't done a lot of inner work, it might be and EXTREMELY blunt, abusive dismissal, or an assumption that the person is faking it.)
    It's also going to look like talking about all the logical aspects of a situation that exist around emotion, without really touching the emotion itself. So like, I expressed romantic interest in somebody a while ago, who I THOUGHT reciprocated the feeling, but it turns out, does not. I chattered really cheerfully for a while about how that's fine, I value clearly understanding the situation I'm in over getting any specific outcome, so that response is still really useful, now I have a better sense of how to interpret certain actions…yadda yadda. It was all true, but I felt like those ideas were coming really fast and being kind of aggressive in my brain. Maybe 15 minutes later I managed to realize "Actually, I'm kind of sad and disappointed."
    Getting it down to 15 minutes has taken a lot of work.

  31. As a type 5 I find that I can understand other people's emotions better than I can understand my own. I can take in contextual clues and process information that tells me what another person is feeling, but I have a difficult time processing my own emotions and usually come at it from a detached, intellectual mindset to avoid confusion and pain.

  32. This video was wonderful, and too funny!!

    I am a 2w1 who has been dating a 5w6 for 3 years now. I love it. However here are some 2&5 things we end up saying:

    2: is sick Why didn't you come over immediately with hot soup? That's what I did when you were sick!
    5: I don't want to dance until I'm good at it. I'll just watch for now.
    2: You have to dance to get good at it though!
    5: Hmm that is a pickle.
    5: I hacked your Switch and added a new virtual capability to fix that problem you were having.
    2: You did WHAT? Is that even possible? Also thank you!
    5: It wasn't that hard. Only took 4 hours online. I had fun doing it.
    5: I know you want to help, but I need to do my chores right now. I need to know I can do it myself.
    a while later
    5: 2, did you do the dishes?!
    2: peeks around corner …no.

  33. I'm definitely a 5, that resonates to a degree. I think because I am 5w4 emotions aren't a problem for me. I can feel very deeply when I'm with them, and they are struggling. Though if this is inauthentic I will detach from there emotion. I think maybe because I'm an Infp plays into all this as well. I don't feel the energy loss that others talk about. The only time I get that is with small talk, or extroverts butting in. That drains me. I'm definitely a watcher, though I've grown up playing all sorts of team sports. I don't mind jumping in there and having a go. Also very happy to have a lot of time to myself for research and creative activities. 😁

  34. I’m a 5. I’m detached from humans but I care deeply for dogs. Marley’s death hit hard and I spent days researching how to prevent that from happening to my puppy. Humans dying I don’t feel anything which I know I should feel bad. I didn’t even react when my Grandma and Father passed away. I just look at other people and try to copy their expressions so I don’t come off “strange” to others or so they don’t approach me to find out why I’m different. 😐

  35. I mostly feel sensitive for the littlest things but it’s so hard bc no else has the same problem as you and i also rlly get annoyed with ppl a lot and I get stressed out with grades

  36. I'm a five. Most of this rings true with me except the musicals conversation. I would just use the conversation itself as an opportunity to learn about musicals. I find my fear of being useless/inept shows up mostly in situations I believe to be very easily handled by others but which I feel under prepared for such as making a phone call or booking an appointment– social situations for which I'm aware there are protocols, but with which I am not intimately familiar. Since I don't think most people are experts on musicals, I'd feel no need to become one just to have a conversation. If I was expected to take some action in relation to musicals such as choosing one to see, then I would research all the options, read all the reviews, decide if each review was fair or reasonable, decide which was best… then never see it. Because. Crowds, you know?

  37. At the end of example five where she’s researching fixing watches, I thought about how I would respond and said to myself, “But I am having fun”.

  38. LMAOOOOO " im gonna go home and watch 10000 youtube videos on that and come back later to you." so me, god I feel bad for not knowing things like it's really miserable to us

  39. I am a 5 and this is hands down one of the most accurate portrayals of my personality I have seen yet. HAHAHAHAHA… well done.

  40. I just found out that I’m a 5w6, and that last one was perfect. I’ve learned to say “I’m so sorry to hear that” to people or the typical things people apparently are supposed to say when someone’s upset 😅 cause immediately I’m like well your dog was ten years old, and had a tumor, etc. or when things happen and I’m like well you made bad decisions what’d you expect? 🙈 but the thing I think that lined up the MOST!!! Was your coffee one. I’ve had my family want my help or attention and I’ve told them no can’t help or blown them off then felt so guilty. But people can’t see you mind and if you’re in the middle of researching something, reading, or figuring something out it’s hard to switch gears and immediately be like yes I’ll go with you. Because I know once I leave what I’m working on it’s soooo hard to make myself go back to it later. Unlike most people who are like ill just work on this later I know it’ll go in my unfinished projects pile 😂😂😂

  41. I am a 5w6 and I am strongly aware of my avarice. I hear what you are saying about it, but my perception is a bit different. I think of avarice as collecting things. Greed is collecting/hoarding things so others can't have them/so you are better than others. Avarice is collecting/hoarding things to be prepared/competent (especially important for a 5w6). I especially like collecting data, so that eventually I can sit down, program some code, and analyze it to pull useful information out of it to understand that activity better, so I can then make that activity "better" (usually "more efficient").

    5s when they become average or tend towards unhealthiness will retreat to imaginary worlds where they can control the environment to feel more secure. For me that manifests as obsessing over video games. That combined with my data focused avarice tendencies means I have a huge folder filled with spreadsheets analyzing nearly every game I've ever played.

    Another facet of avarice (or could be my self-diagnosed ADD) is I watch very few movies and, when I do, I research them to make sure that I'll like them before watching them. I shy away from the idea of devoting a solid 2 hours to something that I can't interrupt in case something else comes up. I could be using that time to do "something" else. Similarly, unless it looks amazing, my max YT video length I'll watch is about 20 min. Longer than that and I'm not sure I want to spend that much time on one subject.

  42. Great. Now I have to spend the rest of today hearing this script in my head and wondering if I’m “doing it” …… why is this so accurate?!!

  43. I’m a five and an INTJ…. this is pretty accurate. I laughed. I think for me it’s more about what I think instead of what I feel (this is the T coming though for me). This is why I APPEAR emotionally detached because my primary way of viewing the world is what I think and not what I feel. Notice how when you made fun of the emotional detachment you had one person spouting things as if they tried to process it logically by thinking through it and the other person was crying as though it was processed through their feelings. I think that’s what causes that. Your friend is good for you because she helps you think your way through your complicated emotions instead of feeling your way through them 🙂

  44. The best way I would put being an INTP/Type 5 would be this:

    We were born, and escorted off the planet to Mars (or insert whatever planet) to live among robots. Then after we grew up, we were escorted back to Earth to live out the rest of our lives.

    Naturally, being around robots, we didn't really have the ability to fully understand all the nuances and irrationality that being around other humans would entail.

    When we tried to just go with the flow of things, we realized we got weird stares. When we jumped into things, we were scolded for our initiatives.

    Or at least, that's what we end up remembering; the time we baked cookies and made someone's day is canceled out by the fact that someone else commented that the cookies tasted funny.

    As such, we ended up obsessively trying to figure out how humans 'work', by observing and putting into practice the countless hours of analysis and pattern recognition that we picked up on our parent planet of robots.

    Also, because Earth feels like a vastly strange and exotic planet, that research ends up veering all around the place to try to uncover ALL the secrets of the world, at the expense of actually interacting with these 'strange' humans.

    If someday we manage to research a formula or methodology for interacting with other humans, we would finally start practicing it… Only to get bored of the same process and result, and turn back to trying to figure out more about the world.

    I had to study flirtation just to be able to start talking to women. Not even attracted to; just women in general. Case in point.

    Being around robots, we naturally learnt that feelings didn't really help in our (then) society, so we learnt to treat it as a signal instead of a driving force. So when encountering other humans who are expressedly emotional (generally more extraverted), we 'channel our inner robot' and try to analyze the situation and come up with a solution using the emotion as a signal.

    (Also, we wish the other person would have already process the emotion first before coming to us, because we already have trouble processing our own deep emotions.)

    TL;DR – We feel like humans raised by robots, who suddenly have to figure out how to act like humans.

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