INFJ Relationships: What INFJs Need in a Partner

100 thoughts on “INFJ Relationships: What INFJs Need in a Partner

  1. It’s important to have someone who appreciates the natural inclination to offer advice. I had a partner who after many years together, exploded at me because he just wanted to vent. He resented my advice, and felt belittled by it, no matter how tactfully or kindly it was given. Being unloaded on about stuff that had clear solutions (to me) was very stressful. My way of coping was to find a solution. It was a doomed relationship.

  2. Can we get a flow chart here? LOL! Maturity is very important for both.I think an idea here may be helpful. " Start a visual scrap book.". Pictures that appeal, no matter how different from eachother. After a month or two, pull them all out, lay them on the floor or table. Closely examine and you will find they all have 1-4 things in common. Those things are what YOU love. No matter how much time passes. These will remain constant for you. Have your prospective do the same. Neither should show, share of talk about it until after you find what you love. Only after that will you be able to put it all out there and find out how much you have in common. Have fun with it!

  3. INFJ's need a partner that share FE and TI or all four cognitve functions;INFJ's are best with ENTP's and other INFJ Empaths.

  4. Someone who doesn’t get pissed when I’m grinding coffee at 3 in the morning, and cleans up after themselves. Top priorities.

  5. Ok but why does that make so much sense? This is so true. I can listen, I can give advice, I want to unravel one‘s deeper personality traits and I want to do that. On the other hand, I cannot be with people that don‘t know what they want in life. I am amazed when I am talking with people that are so passionate about something and it could be literally anything. I can appreciate everything they say when they really mean it. +all my friends are rather spontaneous

  6. I would love a seperate video about the NF-Talk, because that's my biggest problem – nobody understands what the fuc I'm talking about 👏🏼

  7. Where do you find people that know how to truly appreciate an INFJ ? The older I get, the more difficult it becomes, it seems. With the risk of sounding cynical and negative: where are people that are not fake, plastic or disingenuous. My levels of disgust are through the roof.

  8. Something spontaneous should have been " Let's move to Brazil tomorrow". The worst partner for me would be ESFJ, ESTJ, INTJ, ENTJ. #infj

  9. Already 24 but haven't been in a relationship and this is so true. This is like my ideal partner. Also, especially that someone I can rely on and give me advice. It's tiring and frustrating when we understand others and give advices but when it comes to us, no one does the same. We could only rely on ourselves.

  10. My boyfriend is an INFP underdeveloped, I'm an INFJ likely underdeveloped myself but I know I'm a little ahead of him…what's funny is he thinks I'M spontaneous but I just like to set my goals and take the steps to achieve them (in a planned manner) but he does call me out on my bs sometimes

    Edit: I love that segue into the commercial break, thank you for your honesty about it!

  11. I now realize why my last relationship was the way it was…he was basically the opposite of all of this and I was not having it.

  12. As an INFJ, someone who is emotionally mature and slow to judgement is a big deal for me. That might not seem like a huge deal, but where I live, in the UK, it's enormous.

  13. Yes to the friends who translate our talk!! My two closest friends usually translate for me which comes in handy, especially in college. Most of my professors after I ask a question: 🤨. My friend in my class translates and then they know how to answer 😂

  14. Traits to look for in a prospective partner: a little spontaneity, a solid sense of identity, ability to call you out (bring you back to earth), ability to make sense of the way you communicate, empathy without testing your boundaries. Also consider their needs (what you can offer): a good listener with a subtle touch, someone with deep perspectives, and someone able to give advice/guidance.

  15. What about when you meet someone that just GETS IT and you hardly have to say anything at all. INFJs! OMG! Have you experienced this? I dated someone once that was like this. Ironically, they found me boring and took a pass.

  16. There is a difference between spontaneity and fickle minded. For example, an unhealthy ENFP could be a too fickle minded, this is my personal opinion though.

  17. First video I ever watched from you and let me tell you how accurate all of this is !!! Instantly subscribed, absolutely love your personality, keep doing this you’re great !

  18. This was good guy. I totally and completely agree with most of what you said. Its a great guideline, and sooooooooo hard to find. ughh lol

  19. As an INFJ, a spontaneous person is exciting, but at the same time, I need to be able to anticipate how spontaneous they'll get.

  20. Stay clear of spontaneous Narcs who trample boundaries, and don't give a s___ what you have to say cuz they, as Know-it-alls, don't want to hear it. ✌️

  21. Okay so I was watching your MBTI videos (which are super accurate) and wanted to ask you what is your personality. Sorry if this question has been already asked but I'm new around HERE. I'm INFP 😀

    Edit: oh okay never mind. If my deduction us correct you are INFJ xD

  22. Hey Frank, could you make a video about which type is the most similar to INFJ, if you only change one letter? ENFJ, INTJ, INFP, and ISFJ. Or I guess, which letter would change your type the most.

  23. 3:46
    If there was such a thing as “INFJs ANONYMOUS”, I feel like every meeting would start off like this 🤣🤣🤣

  24. I am an INFJ but I find most other INFJs online so annoying. Most are narcissistic, SJWs, snowflake vegans and into the cult of new age

  25. Respect of boundaries, yes. They're hard enough to establish, who needs them constantly tested? I'm tired of trying to laugh off the incursions.

  26. Thank you for giving all those advices and observations to other people. My girlfriend is an INFJ and your films really helped me to understand her better and to know how her personality can work :). You give us a bit of shine sometimes so I hope I could give back at least a bit of it. INFJs are cool. Cheers from ENTP!

  27. "Hey I bought you a car but we won't be able to afford it and it'll be repossessed in less than a year! Aren't you happy? Why aren't you happy? This is all your fault."

    Don't marry a borderline narcissist if you're an INFJ.

  28. It’s always like your videos are taken directly from my brain. This is so spot on (Fellow INFJ). My last ex was an INFP…so they had that solid Fi core identity (definitely marched to the beat of his own drum and had a very unique NF way of speaking which I was drawn to), but…not so teachable and open to advice. I feel like that combination is a bit of a unicorn. Maybe not. I just want to pick your brain for a few hours cuz it’s always like I’m watching my own thoughts on

  29. This is crazy you literally just described my husband of 20 years… Well done and spot on, FJ!

    P.S. He’s an ISTP, I’m an INFJ 🙂

  30. INFJ's HATE spontaneity! That's why my ex-boyfriend and I clashed so much. I'm an ENFP. I also think we are both very analytical and over thinkers which led to a bad dynamic. Neither of us were naturally grounded and we fueled each other's anxiety. I have no idea why ENFP and INFJ are supposed to be an ideal match. We had enough similar traits that we drove each other nuts. I didn't admire qualities in him because I had the same qualities. I think people are a better match with someone who balances the relationship by having strengths the other doesn't possess. An ENFP isn't gonna be the one to bring the INFJ back to earth. When we have to, it is very draining for us. We don't like having to be the grounded one in the relationship. That's how I felt in my relationship and I didn't feel like myself. And my INFJ boyfriend got very angry anytime I changed plans or wanted to do something that wasn't part of the original plan.

  31. I’m an INFJ dating an INFP. He’s a less moody happier version of me and I think we balance each other out really well.

  32. Se Ti Fe ni would be pretty good. Ik you guys would think u would drive each other insane, but you guys are each other’s cognitive flip… like sometimes u guys want to be a Se Ti, and they want to be you, you guys would be able to balance each other out and relate in a silent way… or a Ti Se Ni Fe

  33. Is it difficult for you being an IFNJ in New York? I live in Texas and thankfully there's alot of close areas to be alone. I think I'd DIE in a city as big as that!

  34. Dear frank had enough of your INFJ bs …you are an INFP so admit it. And Stop misleading other INFP's to believe that they are INFJs.

  35. FJ: “I should probably be with someone who is a little bit spontaneous”

    Me: raises hand

    FJ: And definetly they would need to have a solid sense of identity

    Me: puts hand back down


  36. You are so good at explaining INFJ things, this video was quite impressive, laughed a bit of how accurate you are.

  37. Dude you are not a Infj, you are a infp. Stop lying to yourself! Davesuperpowers is not your authority! If you are wrong about your own type you could be potentially giving other people false information about the 16 types as well.

  38. I'm engaged to a male INFJ and I approve this message! I'm a female ENTJ, btw. 5 years strong, and it's the best relationship I've ever had.

  39. I just realized that the very fact that I'm watching this video is because I have, as you mentioned, a somewhat…malleable…not that concrete…identity. I guess now I use YouTube to tell me who I am. Someone should write a song about that.

  40. Literally the best people for INFJs to be around are the people that can make us come to the conclusion ourselves that we’re being ridiculous.
    Like “oh thanks I got it from here”

  41. I'm an extremely blessed person who has had the opportunity to find so many other true INFJs in my work environment and in my close friendships through the years. I am an INFJ myself. I was once married to my "perfect partner" who was an ENFP. We got along very well and were compatible in many ways. However, for various reasons (I will spare you the details) it didn't last, and I do believe it had at least a little to do with our personality types. Today, I truly believe if I were looking for someone I would seek out another INFJ to partner with because I have found that people with this personality can fulfill my deepest desire to "be understood" and gives me the opportunity to reciprocate. But it's also very important that we would each be mature enough to respect each other's values and differences. Respect goes a very long way for INFJs. That and loyalty. It's true that opposites often attract, and I've known some that have made it work. But in my experience, life would be a lot simpler to have a "kindred spirit" with whom I can more easily share my world. Just my 2 cents worth on the subject… 😉

  42. Great perspective, keep it up. As for spontaneity I knew an ENFP who went for a ride on a stranger's motorcycle barefoot but I wouldn't recommend that level of spontaneity.

  43. Watching this video made me realize that my ex complained about everything that is INFJ.

    I’m certain her personality type was a EVIL.

  44. I totally get what you say though. Most people don't speak our language. We write better than we speak, maybe you can write a script ahead of time? That helps me sometimes.

  45. The real INFJ struggle is found in the Billy Bragg song Scholarship is the Enemy of Romance. We are true romantics at heart but our overthinking and desire to plan and control every outcome and possibility can kill the romance in almost every activity. That's probably why we need more extroverted and spontaneous types to bring us out of our shell a little .

  46. I remember my ex bf told me i made no sense when i tried to explain to him how i feel. On how the universe worked on us to be together but for him we had to separate since he already planned on leaving the country years ago, before we even met. And that we just need to accept that. I was so devastated. I was trying to connect the dots on why it happened & im trying to tell him all my thoughts & feelings. But of course it won't made sense to him since i can only express bits of it. We parted ways. I still think about him. And my head is playing all the possible scenario on how we might meet again in the future.

  47. I 've tested INFJ for years over and over again, and I'm very spontaneous, more spontaneous than my wife. I'm constantly trying to get her to go on adventures on a whim with no idea what the outcome will be. I'm also very emotionally strong. I don't ask for advice very often. I'm very, very independent and usually know what I want. However, I'm INFJ-A, a very assertive confident INFJ, so I think this has a lot to do with that. Not every INFJ needs the kind of partner you describe here.

  48. I was just thinking of this the other day! I've been thinking about what I should be looking for in a partner and since I have no idea what I should be looking for this video really helped, haha. 😅thank you! 🙂

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