(Josh) Howdy! Ready to go? (Olaf) Hi! (Kristoff) You’re creepy. (Josh) Sometimes, a Disney movie can ‘wow’ us with impressive visuals, an epic, touching story, or a beautiful narrative. But very occasionally, there’ll be one badly written, annoying, pandering, idiotic character that will stand out in the movie like a gangrenous hand. And we’re going to check them out today! So let’s check out the top six worst Disney characters. And as always, if you do like these characters, that’s great! It’s just my silly personal opinion and I’m glad you can enjoy them. Also, since there are nearly a century worth of Disney characters out there, I’ve constrained this list just to Disney animated movies. Otherwise, this list would probably just be a straight list of Hannah Montana and tween sitcom characters. Anyway, onto the countdown. Number six: That stupid chicken from Moana. I DESPISE this chicken. What purpose did this stupid chicken serve to the story? He literally does nothing but be a nuisance throughout the whole movie. I think he does one tiny thing to help Moana at the very end, but aside from that, even the sea seems tempted to drown him at times! All I wanted throughout the movie was for Moana and Maui to pull out the fire and fry themselves some Kentucky-fried nuisance. And throughout the movie, it’s like the writers are teasing us, continually almost offing this chicken dinner, but never quite getting to it. This is the first time I have seen Disney create a character for no purpose other than to be a nuisance, and I wasn’t the only one. I could literally hear the rest of the theater groan in unison whenever he miraculously appeared back on the ship. Apparently ‘roast-chicken’ here was the last-minute idea of the storyboard, as the writers decided since it was a Disney movie, it had to have a comic relief. But I think I speak for the rest of the groaning theater when I say: we would have been perfectly fine with just Moana and Maui. It’s time for chicken tonight! And for number five: Gurgi from Black Cauldron. Imagine if Jar-Jar Binks got blended together with Gollum, then somehow grew into a big exasperating, hairy lump. (Gurgi) Oh, poor miserable Gurgi deserves fierce smackings and whackings. (Josh) Ah, Jeebus. We’re actually bringing this… thing along with us, aren’t we? Even our hero Taran seems determined to dismiss him as a nuisance at every chance. This hairy, disturbing pile of nag serves no purpose until the very end of the movie! All he does is fit into that irritating comic relief cliche mold. In fact, Gurgi’s entire reason he comes along on the adventure at all is because he wants a piece of fruit! Ughhh. Even the body language of this hairy lump makes you want to stir-fry him with vegetables. And when it speaks, I feel like I’m listening to someone be sick on the toilet. What even is he? A very unfortunate rabbit? A hairy hybrid dog-pig? They never actually tell us! And just to understand his strange crackly lisps, I had to turn subtitles on. And eventually, he inadvertently leads the team into a whirlpool anyway. This means that Gurgi is so incompetent at being a sidekick that he is in fact a villain. Well done, Gurgi. If you didn’t throw yourself in the cauldron, I’d say you were the most useless Disney character of all time. And the fourth worst Disney character is Victor, Hugo, and Laverne– the gargoyles from Hunchback. (Gargoyles) –wine, women, and song! You can learn to identify various regional cheeses. Bobbing for snails! (Josh) WHY? Why wreck an otherwise beautifully Gothic, high concept, powerful piece of art? With these annoying blockheads? It’s like someone crayoned a pink squiggle onto the Mona Lisa in order to make the picture less “depressing”. The only reasons Disney had these gargoyles in the movie were bad reasons. The main reason? To sell toys. There was an immediate promotional tie-in with Burger King for this movie. So the gargoyles were immediately made available as toys. And the second reason? Because Hunchback pushed the envelope too much with scenes of lust, nudity, demons, and torture. So in order to get this fantastic movie a G rating, they needed these awkward comic reliefs. While I normally like any character Jason Alexander plays, these gargoyles all felt like they were just Jar-Jar Binks clones. They’re purely to make the movie more, quote-unquote, “funny”. Serving no story purpose other than to stop Disney from being truly artistically free. Because of these gargoyles, we’ll have these constant clunky tonal jumps throughout the movie. We’ll jump from one scene about Frollo burning Paris to the ground, then suddenly these gargoyles will start parading their songs about how Quasimodo is going to marry Esmerelda, completely offsetting the original tone and atmosphere the movie was working so hard to set. I mean sure, Paris is a sea of flames, and Esmerelda is about to get burned at the stake, but why don’t we just tap-dance about what a handsome guy that Quasimodo is? Clearly he has a shot with Esmerelda! Let’s build his hopes up; surely that won’t awkwardly backfire at all! But hey, if these childish nuisances were what the movie needed to sneak Hunchback past the censors, I’ll take it. I still consider this easily among the best Disney movies. And the third worst Disney character is… Milo from Mars Needs Moms. While none of the movie itself is really salvageable, I just particularly LOATHE this whiny little brat. The entire premise for the movie is that he’s so ungrateful for being asked to eat vegetables… Oh no. He then proceeds to poison his cat. He then thinks it’s a great travesty of justice that his mother is slightly annoyed at him for this, and continues to try and aggravate the poor woman. He then finishes the sad intro off by wishing he’d never had a mother (Milo), Well my life would be so much better if I didn’t have a mom at all! (Josh) That’s just… horrible! Even for the mutilated monkey-face CG, it still looks like she is genuinely hurt by that. Look at that! She was torn apart by him saying that! How are we meant to relate to this little monster? Many kids nowadays have considerably bigger problems than their parents politely requesting that they eat their vegetables. And even throughout the rest of the film, Milo just spouts random, nonsensical cliches that still make absolutely zero sense to me. (Milo) A world of trash!… It IS awesome. (Josh) What does that even mean?! ‘A world of trash, it’s–‘ ugghhhh. On the plus side, you have a considerably better Milo nowadays, voiced by Weird Al. And the second worst Disney character is… Mushu from Mulan 2. (Mushu)– when the infatuation wears off, their tree of life’s gonna wind up with root rot! (Josh) (groans) You rotten little dragon! I’ve never wanted to punch a Disney character so much before, Out of all the things wrong, so VERY wrong with this Disney sequel, Mushu has to be THE biggest middle finger to the original movie of all. I actually liked the original Mushu. I liked his line delivery. I thought he fit perfectly as a sidekick to Mulan, particularly when she’s transitioning through her war training. Mushu was very well-intentioned and almost fatherly to Mulan, doing whatever he could to help protect her from the horrors of war. But this new Mushu. Take Eddie Murphy and replace him with a far more grating voice, and make his entire incentive for the movie to split apart a happy couple. Not because he’s concerned about Mulan, but purely for his own selfish, childish needs. And he does these constantly cringe-worthy sabotages throughout the whole movie in very creepily manipulative ways. (Mushu) Man, she laughed at your map. And if she’s laughing to your face (Josh) –and seems to relish it the whole way, whispering voices into Li Shang’s ear to try and incite his subconscious against Mulan. That’s just creepy. And all the while he has this annoying, smug look on his face. Even if Mushu was meant to be a villain, he’s still not an enjoyable villain. He’s a cringe-worthy, horribly written villain with all the redeemability of a bowl of pig swill. I’ve never seen another Disney character turn from so likable and pleasant into so despicable, petty, selfish, immature, and mean-spirited. Mushu from Mulan 2 eviscerates the original character and cheapens the beauty of the original Mulan movie. And before we get number one, I’m going to give the usual quick DIShonorable mentions. Beast from Belle’s Magical World. (Beast) I WILL NEVER. APOLOGIIIIIZE! (Josh) That line really says it all. They didn’t just destroy Beast’s character. They butchered his original character at a level worthy of song. Olaf from Frozen. I personally don’t think Olaf’s actually that bad. He’s mildly grating at times, but he actually doesn’t have that many lines when you look at it. And he’s pretty quietly spoken. ALL the Home on the Range characters. (Pigs belching) (Josh) Just looking at these characters still makes me want to upchuck my lunch. They’re all equally cliched, silly, and aggravating. Tow Mater from Cars. Larry the Cable Guy plays an annoying redneck tow truck. A hillbilly nuisance given FAR too much screen time. Anyway, on to number one. And the number one WORST Disney character is… Buck Cluck from Chicken Little. Welcome back to Disney hell. A world infested by hideous CG abominations that were once meant to resemble animals. Their society is run on popularity, shallow sports sensationalism, and celebrating in the joy of shunning and assaulting the unpopular. (Coach) Split into two teams! Popular versus unpopular. (Pig) Coach? (Coach)Yeah, Unpopular? Hit the pig, kids! (Josh) Every town member in this CG hell is cruel, heartless, and often attempting to attack our main character Chicken Little. But in the center of this madness is Buck Cluck, the father of our hero, who believes his son should never have existed because he’s unpopular. (Buck) The goal is never to be found, ever. (Josh) I actually wouldn’t mind Buck Cluck so much if he was just an outright evil character, but Buck just feels passive-aggressive, shallow, and spineless in a way that really presses sensitive buttons for a lot of people. He was a father who cared far more about the validation of his shallow peers than he did about his son. In a time when out hero Chicken Little desperately needed someone, his father reinforced isolation and shame upon him. While he does see he was wrong near the end, he spends the majority of the movie caring only about what the egotistical, self-serving townsfolk around him wanted, rather than the safety of his child. And you can always see this deep, hurtful sadness in Chicken Little’s eyes whenever his father rejects him. It’s just miserable! He even enforces morals like “don’t believe in yourself” and “aim your hopes low”. This wouldn’t all be so bad if it was just some stick-in-the-mud But we can see in every scene how much Buck’s words are crushing his son deeply, that the only person Chicken Little has left in the world will not care about him. And it’s agonizing to watch. Buck is just an unapologetically cruel and neglectful father painted as a “good guy”. I consider him the number one WORST Disney character. That being said, these nuisance, badly-written characters are extremely rare, and Disney specializes in making pleasant, likable characters. Disney has given us over the years some of the most enjoyably evil villains and celebrated, relatable heroes. Disney characters have evolved from one-dimensional princesses to complex, emotionally diverse characters who feel far more like real people. Well, thanks for checking out my list! If you’ve got your own Disney character you think is bad, feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments. If you’d like to be notified when I release one of these videos in the future, feel free to hit the bell icon next to the Subscribe button. And as always, thanks for watching. And I’ll see you next time!